It really depends on you and your partner. You may be ready but your partner may not be ready. It is very important to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page; else you will find yourself in a situation where you are married to someone who married you just for the fun of the ‘wedding’.
- As a man it should be more important to marry a woman who loves you than to marry a woman who you love. A woman who loves you will do everything it takes to make you happy. It makes your life so much easier because you know you can count on her love, support, loyalty and unwavering partnership.
- As a woman it is important to marry a man you can rely on, a man you trust to never break your partnership, a man who you know has the ability to take good care of you and your future family. In short, look for some form of stability, either preexisting or a man with the willingness to work towards that form of stability.
- Use your relationship as a yardstick to measure whether you are both ready to take the next step. If you are unhappy in your relationship before marriage, I guarantee you will not be happy in your marriage. Marriage is a not a personality cure, it is just words, a piece of paper and a ring. If someone said a few words to you, then gave you a piece of paper and a piece of jewelry, does that mean they are a different person? Often times people hope that once a person is married there is some divine power that transforms them to a better version of themselves. I say to you, dream on. Your relationship is a true reflection of what you marriage would be. If you relationship lacks respect, trust, compromise etc just forget about it. Either work towards improving those qualities within yourselves or just abandon the relationship because you are both wasting each other’s time.
- Some people marry because they have or are going to have children. Again the points in 3 apply. It is important to not trap your children in a toxic relationship. Children can sense when there is something wrong and children learn from their environment. You are teaching them that bad relationships are normal. Let’s teach our children the right things and try as much as possible to be open with them and address any questions they have. Your children shouldn’t look to people outside to make sense of what is happening at home. I am not saying it is wrong to marry because someone is pregnant, I am saying we have to work on this relationship and make it clear between ourselves what our expectations are of each other, which bring me to the next point.
- As much as we want to think it is not true, partners always have some kind of expectations of what a marriage is or should be. For example, my husband expected 3 fresh meals a day but while we were dating, he never had those expectations. I also expected him to pick up after himself, to maintain a clean house because every time I was with him his place was always spotless. Those things were both misconceptions. I came to find that my husband needs what I would classify as a full time personal nanny and chef. And he came to realise that the woman I was before he married me is exactly the woman he got after marriage.
I hope this information shed some light into discovering whether you are ready for marriage or not. It is always important to ensure that you both know each other and how to make and keep each other happy.