Most times, we are really happy in our relationships and there comes along someone who shows us something different, and then we start wanting more than our partners can give. You partner was probably really happy with you and then someone just came along with something different and voila, you are now old news.
- Always be attentive. You need to notice every bit of change in your partner and adjust to that. Show the willingness to improve, always. If he/she suddenly starts linking something, show the willingness to participate. Be part of your partner’ grow. Your efforts will always make a difference.
- Ask “what changed” or try to figure it out. Try to get to know your partner all over again without you yourself becoming someone you are not. You shouldn’t need to change who you are for someone else and perhaps the fact that you are willing to change yourself for someone else could be the reason you are losing your partners.
- Partner like standards, always have standards. Always establish a list of thing you will and will not tolerate and when borders are crossed, stick to your guns. Don’t back down. Once you back down, we will be having a funeral for your relationship standards.
- Take a moment, take a step back and really look at what is happening. Look at your life as if it isn’t yours. If you were your best friend, how would you advise yourself to deal with the situation? Be brutally honest. Take your own advice. There is no one that will love and take care of you more than you.
- This is the final stage. Accept your situation for what is actually is. Please don’t lie to yourself. Just don’t. Face the facts as they are because facts will never change. If you partner doesn’t want you anymore, accept that, face it head on. Ask yourself what are my next steps. The moment you allow yourself to look ahead, you can then begin to heal.
If you are having to go through the pain of knowing the person you love wants to be, has been or is looking to be with someone else, I am so sorry for the pain, hurt, anger, frustration and devastation you are going through. The worst of if starts now. But if you let yourself pass through the worst part, it just get easier, like a cool breeze. Passing through the worst part of this is really just going through the acceptance phase. Its that place where you have to be honest with yourself, your friends, your family and your partner about what is happening and what the next steps are. That is all it is. I wish you all the luck in the world. The pain doesn’t last forever, that I can guarantee.