While she claimed that have not been able to meet her needs like her cheating partner, she went from common rationalizations like; he listens, really cares, understands her in a kind of way that I don’t, stares at her in a way that makes her feel attractive. Makes her feel like a queen in bed even when I don’t want sex anymore. And ultimately claims that I don’t spend time with her like before. All in a bid to justify her promiscuity.
Though I do not subscribe to all her claims, I believe the following reasons could give her a say;
- My dressing style
It is no big deal that I really don’t give much attention and interest to my appearance and general well-being, especially with the rigours and stress attached to the new job I got, sometimes she complains about me smelling like a fish. Well, her nagging started immediately she got to know I got a job at a fish plant, hence, her lose of interest in me. But how am I supposed to take care of her if I don’t work.
- Take you for granted?
Sadly, she once talked about how often I treat strangers better than her. For me, this allegation is untrue. The truth is everybody loses a sense of politeness, courtesy, and sometimes some basics like “thank you and please” at some point. They are bound to fall by the wayside the longer a relationship stays, as we tend to be so used to each other that we take ourselves for granted. She does that too!
- Directed attention elsewhere?
Though have not been involved in an affair like she does, but it is no gainsaying that my attention, focus, time and energy these days have diverted on my job, studies and sometimes my ailing parents or siblings, at least I knew them before I ever knew her. Let alone other factors that are just the nature of life these days. For me, those are not enough reasons for her to venture into dating someone else.
- No longer investing in us?
For me investing in a relationship does not mean pumping time and money, but rather a relationship that shows a great level of health in dealing with each other. We might not have been out together in a long time, sat down together for a fun TV show, or put the bedroom door under lock and key for some private time together but those do not mean I don’t care to do so.
- The blame game?
Well sometimes I feel like she hardly does anything right these days. And while all these are so obvious to her, she started playing the martyr, taking issues out of context and over blowing them beyond proportion.
- No doubt sec is by the wayside
Yes, it could happen to anyone, sometimes crazy busy, stressed out, bored and tired. And while am not close to being a machine, on many occasions I find it so difficult to satisfy her. According to her sex is the one thing that could bring us closer together, while making the relationship different compared to every other person in our lives. It has not totally disappeared, but I must confess it is lagging. But it is no food! The idea of no sex no fun by her doesn’t hold water.
- No longer listening
Sometimes in our relationship, I listen to what I feel it is important for me to hear. For me, nagging is different from passing an information so, I don’t hear much of anything at all. She has been expressing unhappiness either overtly or subtly. Hence, her reason for getting herself a supposedly sympathetic listener.
*This article does not meant offend but to impart some knowledge to those less experienced. We are not professionals, we just give you answers from personal experiences and from the stories we hear and see.