My man goes out clubbing a lot, can I really trust him?

It really just depends on the kind of man he is and the company he keeps. Remember whether we like it or not, the people we hang out with have a great influence on how we perceive the world. It is all a question of trust because of the following:

  1. You don’t REALLY know what he is up to unless you start (in some way) spying on him. I wouldn’t advise you start spying on him because that opens up another can of worms. Not that there were already worms existing, it’s just that not trusting your partner creates a certain energy in your relationship that your partner can feel. And sometimes they perceive that as you being unfaithful. Don’t go through his phone (last dialled, deleted photos, deleted emails etc) please don’t do that. You might just find something and then what? Just have a bit of faith. I promise you, the truth always finds a way out.
  2. You can’t start double checking everything he says. You can’t start verifying whether he was or wasn’t with his friends. You can’t start checking his credit and back account transactions. It’s just creepy. If you find something what will you say then? And if he finds out that you have been verifying the things he tells you, how will you justify that?
  3. It is not about him, it is about you. What are your expectations and if your expectations are not met, what are you willing to do? You need to start asking yourself: if he is cheating what am I prepared to do. If you are prepared to stay with anyway, then I would suggest (for your piece of mind) just ignore all the signs.

Personally, I believe relationships need to be an open honest friendship. Friendship is a very important part of a lasting relationship. Don’t just be a spouse, be a friend. Seek to understand your partner first instead of putting your friend on a pedestal.

Sometimes you may find that your partner is in love or wants to be with someone else. This is really painful, more painful than we let show but ask yourself; would you rather stay with someone knowing full well that they don’t want you or would you rather start working on letting go and finding yourself again (no matter how long that takes). If it is going to take you 5 years or 1 year or 1 month to get over your partner, wouldn’t you rather just start now? Is It really better to pretend the problem doesn’t exist than to just deal with it; You will have to deal with it eventually so rather do it the waxing style. Just rip it off and be done with it and move on.

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