To my girlfriend flirting is about fun, this she sometimes does in my presence to my bewilderment. I once watched her going after a stranger, initiated a serious conversation and started complimenting him even in my very full glare. For me, have always believed that once am in a serious relationship with someone, then flirting is a double no.
In my quest to know what to do because I love her so much and I don’t want to break up with her, I stumbled on the following on a counselor that did not only tell me why she has been flirting around but also counseled me on what I can do to keep my relationship with her
Make her feel secure
According to him a major reason while she had to go a long way in flirting with other men even in my presence is because she is insecure about the way she looks and probably battling with low self-esteem. However, flirting with other young men and getting a good and positive response from them will in no small way reassure and establish her faith in her kind of look.
He however, told me that the only way I can work around this is to help her build her confidence by complimenting her when she is involved or does good things and not criticize her. He added that telling her how beautiful she is often will help in making her feel special and wanted.
Kill her boredom
In response to my counselors question, obviously we have been in relationship for a long time and kind of stuck in a rut. Things have changed and are not as interesting as they used to be when we started our relationship and she is likely missing a whole lot of that part in me. As such, according to my counselor, she is bored since have stopped flirting with her.
He however, counseled me to start spicing things up a little bit more by ensuring that I go the extra mile of taking her on a romantic date, showering her with gifts, flirt and tease her here and there.
Show some care
According to him, some women could be stupid enough to stylishly assess how much love or care their men have towards them by involving a totally strange man. These flirtatious behaviors and actions are nothing more than a twisted style of trying to understand how you will react when she starts flirting with other men.
To them your being jealous means you love her
Your being nonchalant means you don’t really care about her
Therefore, the conclusion is to be calm and caring in the face of all this mannerism
Avoid double stardard
The society believes that when men are trying to be simply friendly with a woman, it is termed being a gentleman, but the reverse is the case with women as it is termed to be flirting.
It became obvious that sometimes one has to give his girlfriend a benefit of doubt. Possibly she was only trying to be as nice and polite as possible, which in reality she only trying to be decent.
It became so obvious to me that I can’t expect her to reach compromise on flirting issues when am guilty of the same offence. Therefore it is imperative that I make a change in my attitude and every other thing will be resolved
Talk to her
There is likelihood of her not realizing that what she is doing is wrong and provoking. I was made to know the importance of sitting her down to tell her the particular actions of hers that make me uncomfortable while requesting her not to behave in such manner again. Put out some boundaries by making her understand which type of flirtations might be okay by you and the one that makes you go weird.
*This article does not meant offend but to impart some knowledge to those less experienced. We are not professionals, we just give you answers from personal experiences and from the stories we hear and see.