I have only been married a few years, but I have seen my fair share of mistakes from my sister and friends who some were married and some still are with their spouse. The ways to keep your marriage fulfilling and happy are simple and are definitely not easy.
I know everyone says that, but I don’t mean just talk. I mean talk about issues in a real way. In a way that you would speak to yourself. Open up, don’t lie. When one of you lies, you both loose. Don’t wait for the other person, just talk about what is bothering you.
- Take timeouts.
You love your family to bits, you spend every single day of your life with them. Take some time away from each other. Take a whole weekend. I know it’s really hard, but you have to do it. You will miss each other so much. Do be like me. I only really get quite time when I am hospitalised and that is the reality for a lot of women.I spent years of my time drowning in taking care of my family. I’m important too, right. I deserve nice things like a meal cooked by someone else, a bath prepared by someone else, clothes ironed by someone else, jewelery bought by someone else. You get the idea.
- Focus on each other
Take time out together. Book a weekend away for just the two of you. Yes you need to take care of your kids blah blah blah. You are not married to your kids, you are married to each other. You have to make sure you keep that connection going on between you and your partner. One day your kids are going to finish school and leave your house, then what? One day you will both retire, then what? People change over time, you need to make sure you grow together.
- Be honest, always
Its better to have a openly honest relationship than one where people just pretend everything is fine everyday. Share your thoughts with your partner, it is quite refreshing. Talk, just talk. Talk about life, each other, your kids, the planet, aliens, history, robots, just talk. It makes it easier to talk about difficult issues when you are used to listening to each other.
- Show up
Always show up for each other, no matter how inconvenient it can be. Life has many obstacles and your partner should not be one of them. Show up. Show up for each other, show up for your kids. Prioritise each other and your kids. No matter what happens, just show up. No matter how bad it is just show up. Love one another through the good and the bad. Show up. Sometimes that’s all it takes to make everything easier.
I have written this article from my experiences and the experiences of other. When in doubt, consult a relationship expert, I am not one.